The following is a daily log I have kept of my thoughts and feelings on the attempt to wean myself off caffeine.
Day 11 – September 23, 2010
I cracked. I had 2 coffees this morning. I have completely rationalized it in my head and feel it is completely warranted. So there.
Day 12 – September 24, 2010
YAY!!! ITS FRIDAY!!!! I’m still not sure how to take this to the next level…maybe I need to just go cold turkey. I just don’t want to suffer worse headaches than I already do. I like having a sense of normalcy, where I know exactly how I will feel given any circumstances under my own control.
Day 13 – September 25, 2010
I slept until noon and didn’t have any coffee. Then I didn’t think twice though and had diet pepsi with dinner (I was out to dinner with the family for my sister’s birthday). I’m kind of disappointed because I was all proud that I didn’t have a coffee when I woke up.
Day 14 – September 26, 2010
Slept until 11ish, and went to Starbucks as soon as I was showered and dressed. It was awesome.
All right. Its been 2 weeks, and I’m not feeling as though I can give up on caffeine all together just yet. I’ve at least come down from having 2 cups of coffee per day to 1 cup of coffee per day. I’m fairly aware of my caffeine consumption. I’m finding other tricks to help with my energy (an apple first thing in the morning does wonders!!) So do I continue and try to completely get myself off caffeine? I enjoy the taste of coffee. And I have friends who have told me in no uncertain terms that they would have to consider our relationship if I were to be completely off caffeine because they would question my sanity.
I’m also kind of bored writing about this daily. Its putting me to sleep. Time for another coffee!!!!
Monday, September 27, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
WMOC - Day 5-10
The following are daily logs I have kept on my feelings and thoughts towards weaning myself off caffeine. Enjoy!
Day 5 – September 17, 2010
I wonder what it would feel like to just go cold turkey? I don’t know if I am ready to do that though. I’m just sitting here at my desk at work and feeling as though I absolutely NEED at least one cup of coffee. Just one. There is no way I could go cold turkey today without some effect on either my physical body or my social skills. I also have plans tonight, and usually when I have plans, I try to have another coffee, tea or Red Bull. I’m scared to face the world without caffeine…either that or I am scared to think what the world is going to think of me if I don’t get my morning coffee.
So I had an interesting evening. I had a voice lesson and decided to take out a co-op car instead of bringing my guitar on the skytrain. Afterwards, when I came back downtown, the building that I was supposed to park the car in was blocked by red-tape and police tape. Fire trucks and police were everywhere. So I called the co-op and explained the situation. They couldn’t think of a solution so I did. I told them I would park the car in my building and wait it out. They were fine with this. So I went upstairs and tried to figure out what was going on and when the building might be accessible again. Thank goodness for News 1130 online!! There was a Haz-Mat crew at the old BC Hydro building at Burrard and Nelson, and of course the spill that happened was big enough to effect the adjoining building, at least until they figured out just how bad it was. So I continued on to the party I was going to, and decided I just had to be sober so that I could return the car when I got home. I updated the co-op with this information. And then I had a 355ml can of Red Bull. I had to. And I am glad I did because by the time I got home and parked the car (3 am), I was at the point where if I were just a little bit more tired, it would be as if I were a little bit inebriated. As a side note, drinking and driving is one thing and should NEVER be done. But neither should not sleeping properly and driving. Don’t drive tired!!!
Day 6 – September 18, 2010
Since I didn’t get to sleep until 4 a.m. (once I got home from parking the car (3:05 am) I decided to read in bed for a bit to unwind), I slept until 11:30. It was kind of nice. And then I stayed in bed and finished the book I couldn’t put down (I had to know if they were going to fall in love after all!!!!!!!) Finally I decided to roll out of bed and go out and grab some breakfast – I wasn’t in the mood for a bagel or oatmeal at home. So I went down to Starbucks. I had a grande caramel frappucino (I was in the mood for something cold). Turns out it only has 95mg of caffeine in it, and that is the only caffeinated thing I had all day!
Day 7 – September 19, 2010
Well I was up and at ‘em first thing in the morning on Sunday, despite being out late for a friend’s birthday. But I can’t say the same for a friend of mine who crashed at my place. Once they were finally up, we headed out to Starbucks for breakfast. I like weekends! We had a grande drip coffee which had way more caffeine, but we were gonna explore the city a bit too, so a little kick in the butt never hurts!
Day 8 – September 20, 2010
Oh wow, if ever there was a day that was a test of my will power, today was that day. I was sooooooooo “don’t-even-look-at-me-until-I’ve-had-my-coffee” this morning. And I only had one, and have survived with just one for the past 3 days. I contemplated having a cup of tea in the afternoon, but decided not to. Tomorrow, no coffee at all…
Day 9 – September 21, 2010
No coffee? Yah, sorry, not gonna happen. Not quite ready to be a tea-totaler yet. This is harder than I thought. I honestly enjoy the taste of coffee, not just the caffeine boost it gives me upon every sip. I enjoy the rich flavour, the warmth. Its like a big warm hug in the morning. Life without coffee would be misery!!!
Day 10 – September 22, 2010
I seem to be in a place where I feel stuck. I don’t like the taste of decaf coffee, at least not the ones I’ve tried. So I can’t even try to switch my coffee in the morning because it will just be disgusting and putrid and leave me in a foul mood, which I would be in anyway if I don’t drink coffee. You want the sun to shine out of my ass in the morning??!?!? I need coffee to do that.
Day 5 – September 17, 2010
I wonder what it would feel like to just go cold turkey? I don’t know if I am ready to do that though. I’m just sitting here at my desk at work and feeling as though I absolutely NEED at least one cup of coffee. Just one. There is no way I could go cold turkey today without some effect on either my physical body or my social skills. I also have plans tonight, and usually when I have plans, I try to have another coffee, tea or Red Bull. I’m scared to face the world without caffeine…either that or I am scared to think what the world is going to think of me if I don’t get my morning coffee.
So I had an interesting evening. I had a voice lesson and decided to take out a co-op car instead of bringing my guitar on the skytrain. Afterwards, when I came back downtown, the building that I was supposed to park the car in was blocked by red-tape and police tape. Fire trucks and police were everywhere. So I called the co-op and explained the situation. They couldn’t think of a solution so I did. I told them I would park the car in my building and wait it out. They were fine with this. So I went upstairs and tried to figure out what was going on and when the building might be accessible again. Thank goodness for News 1130 online!! There was a Haz-Mat crew at the old BC Hydro building at Burrard and Nelson, and of course the spill that happened was big enough to effect the adjoining building, at least until they figured out just how bad it was. So I continued on to the party I was going to, and decided I just had to be sober so that I could return the car when I got home. I updated the co-op with this information. And then I had a 355ml can of Red Bull. I had to. And I am glad I did because by the time I got home and parked the car (3 am), I was at the point where if I were just a little bit more tired, it would be as if I were a little bit inebriated. As a side note, drinking and driving is one thing and should NEVER be done. But neither should not sleeping properly and driving. Don’t drive tired!!!
Day 6 – September 18, 2010
Since I didn’t get to sleep until 4 a.m. (once I got home from parking the car (3:05 am) I decided to read in bed for a bit to unwind), I slept until 11:30. It was kind of nice. And then I stayed in bed and finished the book I couldn’t put down (I had to know if they were going to fall in love after all!!!!!!!) Finally I decided to roll out of bed and go out and grab some breakfast – I wasn’t in the mood for a bagel or oatmeal at home. So I went down to Starbucks. I had a grande caramel frappucino (I was in the mood for something cold). Turns out it only has 95mg of caffeine in it, and that is the only caffeinated thing I had all day!
Day 7 – September 19, 2010
Well I was up and at ‘em first thing in the morning on Sunday, despite being out late for a friend’s birthday. But I can’t say the same for a friend of mine who crashed at my place. Once they were finally up, we headed out to Starbucks for breakfast. I like weekends! We had a grande drip coffee which had way more caffeine, but we were gonna explore the city a bit too, so a little kick in the butt never hurts!
Day 8 – September 20, 2010
Oh wow, if ever there was a day that was a test of my will power, today was that day. I was sooooooooo “don’t-even-look-at-me-until-I’ve-had-my-coffee” this morning. And I only had one, and have survived with just one for the past 3 days. I contemplated having a cup of tea in the afternoon, but decided not to. Tomorrow, no coffee at all…
Day 9 – September 21, 2010
No coffee? Yah, sorry, not gonna happen. Not quite ready to be a tea-totaler yet. This is harder than I thought. I honestly enjoy the taste of coffee, not just the caffeine boost it gives me upon every sip. I enjoy the rich flavour, the warmth. Its like a big warm hug in the morning. Life without coffee would be misery!!!
Day 10 – September 22, 2010
I seem to be in a place where I feel stuck. I don’t like the taste of decaf coffee, at least not the ones I’ve tried. So I can’t even try to switch my coffee in the morning because it will just be disgusting and putrid and leave me in a foul mood, which I would be in anyway if I don’t drink coffee. You want the sun to shine out of my ass in the morning??!?!? I need coffee to do that.
Friday, September 17, 2010
WMOC - Day 2, 3 and 4
Day 2 - September 14, 2010
I had a cup of coffee this morning and up until this point I didn't feel like I needed anything. Interesting. So should I still have a cup of tea in lieu of a second cup of coffee, even though I feel as though I don't even need a second cup of coffee? Just for consistency's sake? Or should I leave it and see how this effects me later in the day? I generally try not to drink tea or coffee in the afternoon for fear of not being able to sleep when I finally get to bed, but definitely use it as a pick me up if I have plans that I know are going to go late. I think I am going to leave it and not have that cup of tea.
What mundane-ness. I honestly thought this would be more tortuous, and therefore more interesting to write about. Seriously, I thought I would be regaling you with tales of having turned into an insatiable banchee, but no such luck.
I had a caffeinated beverage with dinner, but the content was low. I felt tired and ready to sleep around 10. As soon as I hit the sheets, though, I couldn't sleep. So I read until a friend called me for a late-night chat and ended up finally getting to sleep around 2.
Day 3 - September 15, 2010
More of the same. I had coffee and then I had a tea. And I was told I get to go home early because I stayed late last night. I got my grocery shopping done, made a delicious dinner (Adventures in Cooking will be a forthcoming blog...maybe...), and watched the finale of Big Brother 12.
Day 4 - September 16, 2010
I was kept up all night with a cough. Yay. These never leave. Then I was approached sans-caffeine in a testy manner first thing in the morning. Frickin' double yay. I had my regular coffee, and then instead of having a cup of caffeinated tea, I decided to have a cup of decaffeinated coffee. YUCK! Those in my office who drink decaf like dark roast coffee. Ew. But it has served its purpose of being a hot, soothing drink.
I went for dinner with a friend after work, and I totally hit a wall around 8. I don't know if it was the vodka or the lack of caffeine, but I felt like I could fall asleep right there. SO not like me! Thankfully though, I managed to stay awake through dinner and the walk home. And then as soon as I tried to fall asleep, I was wide awake. Don't know what thats about!! Weirdness!!
Peace!
I had a cup of coffee this morning and up until this point I didn't feel like I needed anything. Interesting. So should I still have a cup of tea in lieu of a second cup of coffee, even though I feel as though I don't even need a second cup of coffee? Just for consistency's sake? Or should I leave it and see how this effects me later in the day? I generally try not to drink tea or coffee in the afternoon for fear of not being able to sleep when I finally get to bed, but definitely use it as a pick me up if I have plans that I know are going to go late. I think I am going to leave it and not have that cup of tea.
What mundane-ness. I honestly thought this would be more tortuous, and therefore more interesting to write about. Seriously, I thought I would be regaling you with tales of having turned into an insatiable banchee, but no such luck.
I had a caffeinated beverage with dinner, but the content was low. I felt tired and ready to sleep around 10. As soon as I hit the sheets, though, I couldn't sleep. So I read until a friend called me for a late-night chat and ended up finally getting to sleep around 2.
Day 3 - September 15, 2010
More of the same. I had coffee and then I had a tea. And I was told I get to go home early because I stayed late last night. I got my grocery shopping done, made a delicious dinner (Adventures in Cooking will be a forthcoming blog...maybe...), and watched the finale of Big Brother 12.
Day 4 - September 16, 2010
I was kept up all night with a cough. Yay. These never leave. Then I was approached sans-caffeine in a testy manner first thing in the morning. Frickin' double yay. I had my regular coffee, and then instead of having a cup of caffeinated tea, I decided to have a cup of decaffeinated coffee. YUCK! Those in my office who drink decaf like dark roast coffee. Ew. But it has served its purpose of being a hot, soothing drink.
I went for dinner with a friend after work, and I totally hit a wall around 8. I don't know if it was the vodka or the lack of caffeine, but I felt like I could fall asleep right there. SO not like me! Thankfully though, I managed to stay awake through dinner and the walk home. And then as soon as I tried to fall asleep, I was wide awake. Don't know what thats about!! Weirdness!!
Peace!
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
WMOC - Day 1
September 13, 2010
10:22 am - So today I started out the day with a coffee as per usual. When I felt like having a second cup of coffee, I rinsed my cup and switched to english breakfast tea. The first sip of tea made me feel as if it wasn't going to work because it just didn't hold the same amount of comfort as a cup of coffee. However, I also hadn't eaten breakfast at that point and decided it might be time for a bagel. After the bagel and tea were finished, I felt better.
I think I am fighting some sort of cold or something though. I feel clammy and gross, and I'm downing vitamin C and water like its going out of style!
1:29 pm - I just finished my lunch, and I'm feeling kind of ill. Its a run-down, just-want-to-go-and-wrap-myself-in-my-comforter-like-a-cocoon type of ill. The side-effects listed by Wikipedia did not include a symptom like this for withdrawal, and I haven't even eliminated caffeine at all, so my guess is a cold/flu kind of thing is at work. Bollocks. On the bright side, though, if I actually AM sick, I'll most likely quit cold turkey then. I tend not to drink coffee when I am sick due to the fact that I try to sleep all day.
I am also interested to see how I am going to feel in about an hour or so because I started the day earlier than normal. I had to be in the office by 8, and may still not be able to leave until 5. We shall see.
4:46 pm - I am nearing the end of the workday for day 1, and I feel a bit better. I've kept up the vitamin C, as well as plenty of water and managed to grab an apple for my afternoon snack. I have plans for the evening - either go home and that is it, or go home, nap, and then go to volleyball. I am going to see how I feel once I am home.
12:05 am - I ended up going to volleyball without a nap! Yay! I wasn't there for the whole 2 and half hours, I just stayed for an hour and half. On my walk home, I ran into a friend of mine and he came over and chilled for a bit. I'm feeling fairly normal, kinda tired, but I usually am at this point of the day. I was thinking of doing a yoga class in the morning, but I think I will sleep as much as I can instead. Yah, sleep sounds awesome!
Goodnight!
10:22 am - So today I started out the day with a coffee as per usual. When I felt like having a second cup of coffee, I rinsed my cup and switched to english breakfast tea. The first sip of tea made me feel as if it wasn't going to work because it just didn't hold the same amount of comfort as a cup of coffee. However, I also hadn't eaten breakfast at that point and decided it might be time for a bagel. After the bagel and tea were finished, I felt better.
I think I am fighting some sort of cold or something though. I feel clammy and gross, and I'm downing vitamin C and water like its going out of style!
1:29 pm - I just finished my lunch, and I'm feeling kind of ill. Its a run-down, just-want-to-go-and-wrap-myself-in-my-comforter-like-a-cocoon type of ill. The side-effects listed by Wikipedia did not include a symptom like this for withdrawal, and I haven't even eliminated caffeine at all, so my guess is a cold/flu kind of thing is at work. Bollocks. On the bright side, though, if I actually AM sick, I'll most likely quit cold turkey then. I tend not to drink coffee when I am sick due to the fact that I try to sleep all day.
I am also interested to see how I am going to feel in about an hour or so because I started the day earlier than normal. I had to be in the office by 8, and may still not be able to leave until 5. We shall see.
4:46 pm - I am nearing the end of the workday for day 1, and I feel a bit better. I've kept up the vitamin C, as well as plenty of water and managed to grab an apple for my afternoon snack. I have plans for the evening - either go home and that is it, or go home, nap, and then go to volleyball. I am going to see how I feel once I am home.
12:05 am - I ended up going to volleyball without a nap! Yay! I wasn't there for the whole 2 and half hours, I just stayed for an hour and half. On my walk home, I ran into a friend of mine and he came over and chilled for a bit. I'm feeling fairly normal, kinda tired, but I usually am at this point of the day. I was thinking of doing a yoga class in the morning, but I think I will sleep as much as I can instead. Yah, sleep sounds awesome!
Goodnight!
Monday, September 13, 2010
Weaning Myself Off Caffeine
With the help from http://www.dumblittleman.com/ (@JWhite on Twitter), I am going to try to wean myself off caffeine. I know...crazy, right?! The first step is to monitor how much caffeine I get in 1 week. This is how much I have had the past week:
September 6 - 2x 250ml can of Sugar Free Red Bull
September 7 - 2x 12oz cup light roast coffee; 1x 355ml can of Coke Zero
September 8 - 2x 12oz cup of light roast coffee
September 9 - 2x 12oz cup of light roast coffee
September 10 - 2x 12oz cup of light roast coffee
September 11 - 1x XL coffee at Tim Hortons
September 12 - 2x 355ml can of Coke Zero
Every 250ml can of Sugar Free Red Bull contains 80mg of caffeine. The average cup of coffee contains 80-135mg of caffeine. According to http://www.energyfiend.com/the-caffeine-database, there is 108mg in an 8oz cup of coffee. I am going to estimate that my cup of coffee contains 135mg. Every 355ml can of Coke Zero contains 35mg of caffeine. I checked Tim Hortons' website, and my XL coffee has 200mg of caffeine in it! So I have had (if my math is correct) 1545mg of caffeine this past week. After some googling, it seems that 300mg per day is a "safe" amount to consume. Well, I seem to be under that amount, but I'd still like to help my fitness and nutrition goals by kicking the habit now before it gets to be more than it is.
According to the article at http://www.dumblittleman.com/2007/10/how-to-give-up-coffee-and-caffeine.html, I should start replacing my coffee with caffeinated tea. Since I am at 2 cups per day (which used to be just 1 per day), I think I will substitute my 2nd cup for a caffeinated tea that has a decaffeinated version in the same flavour. Once I get through that, I'll switch both cups to caffeinated tea. Then 1 to decaffeinated, and both to decaffeinated. One thing the article doesn't really spell out is the timing. I guess I'm just going to have to decide that for myself.
This article also lacks what sort of side-effects one might feel during this process:
"Withdrawal symptoms - possibly including headache, irritability, an inability to concentrate, drowsiness, insomnia and pain in the stomach, upper body, and joints - may appear within 12 to 24 hours after discontinuation of caffeine intake, peak at roughly 48 hours, and usually last from one to five days representing the time required for the number of adenosine receptors in the brain to revert to "normal" levels, uninfluenced by caffeine consumption. Analgesics, such as aspirin, can relieve the pain symptoms, as can a small dose of caffeine. Most effective is a combination of both an analgesic and a small amount of caffeine." ~Wikipedia
Well that sounds like loads of fun! I assume that these symptoms would be experienced more if I were to quit cold turkey. But once I reach a point of switching everything to decaffeinated tea, there will be some risk of going through withdrawal symptoms, right? This is definitely something to be conscious of.
And as always, it is recommended that during this process I drink plenty of water. Well thankfully I have been in the habit of drinking at the very LEAST 2L of water per day. That should be no problem for me whatsoever!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
*sigh*
I keep forgetting about this blog. Well, not really forgetting, but it gets put on my To Do list, and then gets trumped by more pressing matters.
Since my last post, I watched Food Inc. That is the next step in my clean eating research. I've also come up with some other ideas, but I am going to put this topic on the back burner for a while and focus on what I love the most. Music.
I mean, come on! This blog is called LA FEMME VOCALE! *sings* I got the music in me! I got the music in me! I got the music in meeeeee!!!
I was involved in such a wonderful show this summer with the super awesome production company, Barrow Entertainment (http://www.barrowentertainment.com/). It was a lot of hard work, but every minute was totally worth it. If ever you read about Barrow Entertainment and their next production, trust me when I say it is a show that is not to be missed. So much love and energy go into the creation of everything that you can feel it as an audience member. Seriously, trust me.
I started singing open mics again, and feel so at home. My premiere for 2010 was at a place called Benny's Cafe on Broadway at Larch on Monday, August 23, 2010. All you singer-songwriters out there, CHECK THIS PLACE OUT. The energy was amazing!! And the crowd was very welcoming. Another good place to check out on Monday nights (Sorry Joseph) is the Backstage Lounge on Granville Island. If you time things right, you can probably play both in one night.
Songwriting has started to flow again finally, and right now things are just...looking up, as they always seem to be.
Well thats it for now...lots of love and hugs to all my readers. :-)
Since my last post, I watched Food Inc. That is the next step in my clean eating research. I've also come up with some other ideas, but I am going to put this topic on the back burner for a while and focus on what I love the most. Music.
I mean, come on! This blog is called LA FEMME VOCALE! *sings* I got the music in me! I got the music in me! I got the music in meeeeee!!!
I was involved in such a wonderful show this summer with the super awesome production company, Barrow Entertainment (http://www.barrowentertainment.com/). It was a lot of hard work, but every minute was totally worth it. If ever you read about Barrow Entertainment and their next production, trust me when I say it is a show that is not to be missed. So much love and energy go into the creation of everything that you can feel it as an audience member. Seriously, trust me.
I started singing open mics again, and feel so at home. My premiere for 2010 was at a place called Benny's Cafe on Broadway at Larch on Monday, August 23, 2010. All you singer-songwriters out there, CHECK THIS PLACE OUT. The energy was amazing!! And the crowd was very welcoming. Another good place to check out on Monday nights (Sorry Joseph) is the Backstage Lounge on Granville Island. If you time things right, you can probably play both in one night.
Songwriting has started to flow again finally, and right now things are just...looking up, as they always seem to be.
Well thats it for now...lots of love and hugs to all my readers. :-)
Friday, August 6, 2010
Clean Eating
I was reading the January '09 issue of one of my favourite fitness magazines the other day when I stumbled upon the Publisher's note. He was going on about how terrible he felt for eating a kit-kat bar because it wasn't part of his clean eating regime.
Seriously?! Has guilt become part of what we need in order to make ourselves fit and healthy? I don't see how this could have been inspirational to anyone at all. If anything guilt just feeds the feelings we already have when we eat things that we KNOW we shouldn't. I think most people would reach with "Wow...if he still has trouble with this, what hope in hell do I have to ever succeed? I'm just giving up!"
Because it seems to be a trend that is growing in popularity, I decided to look into clean eating and started with my favourite search engine, Google. I found a lot of websites boasting free meal-plans and recipes. At the bottom of the first of 10 (plus, I'm sure) pages, there was an article published on Canada.com, written by registered dietitian Samara Felesky-Hunt (http://dietitian-online.com) - perfect place to start!
Hmm...it seems to tell me things I already know. Food at a state that is closest to its natural state holds the most nutritional value! Over-processed food isn't good for you! Water is your best bet over pop or juice to quench your thirst! You should try to fill half your plate with fruits and vegetables at every meal! Instead of adding sugar, try applesauce, honey, dried fruit or maple syrup to sweeten things! Lean proteins are the best protein! Healthy fats are good for you! Rah Rah Sisboom Bah! Sittin' on a grand stand, beatin' on a tin can, who can, we can! NOBODY ELSE CAN!!
So if these things are such common sense (which I believe them to be), then why is there such a huge problem with heart-disease, diabetes, obesity and other its-gonna-catch-up-with-you-sooner-or-later diseases? We cannot deny that our eating habits are the culprit (other than, of course, genetics and other factors that may come in to play). Why do we, as a society, fail to make common sense choices when it comes to eating?
Are we defeatists? Do we have too much emotional baggage and stress that leads us down dark, unrecognizable paths of self-loathing where our only comfort is the sweet, creamy taste of chocolate? Do we keep ourselves so insanely busy that its easier to stop somewhere to grab something in disposable (and not necessarily environmentally friendly) packaging rather than either a) slow down and take proper breaks during the day, or b) tote around sh*tloads of Tupperware so that we can eat healthier? What are all our excuses?!
I'm not here to advocate or speak against clean eating...yet. Is it the best thing for us? What happened to everything in moderation? Well, I think that went out the window when portion sizes continued to grow and change. Gotta give the consumer their money's worth!! Yah, they may get 3-4 servings in 1 entree at a restaurant, but look what they're paying for it! Ok, that's partially to blame. But what about us? We still need to be held accountable, right? It is our choice to plow through 3-4 servings verus eating 1 and asking them to pack the rest, right?
There seems to be a lot of information on clean eating, this might have to be a series. My general thoughts at this point are that clean eating seems to be physically healthy, but I question the effect on our emotions and our mental health. If you don't allow yourself some sort of treat every once in a while, then what fun is it? If you are being that controlling with what is and isn't allowed in your body, is it a borderline eating disorder? On the flip side though, if you're that attached to something that you would question your existence without it, then is it a deeper seeded addiction problem?
Food for thought...
Seriously?! Has guilt become part of what we need in order to make ourselves fit and healthy? I don't see how this could have been inspirational to anyone at all. If anything guilt just feeds the feelings we already have when we eat things that we KNOW we shouldn't. I think most people would reach with "Wow...if he still has trouble with this, what hope in hell do I have to ever succeed? I'm just giving up!"
Because it seems to be a trend that is growing in popularity, I decided to look into clean eating and started with my favourite search engine, Google. I found a lot of websites boasting free meal-plans and recipes. At the bottom of the first of 10 (plus, I'm sure) pages, there was an article published on Canada.com, written by registered dietitian Samara Felesky-Hunt (http://dietitian-online.com) - perfect place to start!
Hmm...it seems to tell me things I already know. Food at a state that is closest to its natural state holds the most nutritional value! Over-processed food isn't good for you! Water is your best bet over pop or juice to quench your thirst! You should try to fill half your plate with fruits and vegetables at every meal! Instead of adding sugar, try applesauce, honey, dried fruit or maple syrup to sweeten things! Lean proteins are the best protein! Healthy fats are good for you! Rah Rah Sisboom Bah! Sittin' on a grand stand, beatin' on a tin can, who can, we can! NOBODY ELSE CAN!!
So if these things are such common sense (which I believe them to be), then why is there such a huge problem with heart-disease, diabetes, obesity and other its-gonna-catch-up-with-you-sooner-or-later diseases? We cannot deny that our eating habits are the culprit (other than, of course, genetics and other factors that may come in to play). Why do we, as a society, fail to make common sense choices when it comes to eating?
Are we defeatists? Do we have too much emotional baggage and stress that leads us down dark, unrecognizable paths of self-loathing where our only comfort is the sweet, creamy taste of chocolate? Do we keep ourselves so insanely busy that its easier to stop somewhere to grab something in disposable (and not necessarily environmentally friendly) packaging rather than either a) slow down and take proper breaks during the day, or b) tote around sh*tloads of Tupperware so that we can eat healthier? What are all our excuses?!
I'm not here to advocate or speak against clean eating...yet. Is it the best thing for us? What happened to everything in moderation? Well, I think that went out the window when portion sizes continued to grow and change. Gotta give the consumer their money's worth!! Yah, they may get 3-4 servings in 1 entree at a restaurant, but look what they're paying for it! Ok, that's partially to blame. But what about us? We still need to be held accountable, right? It is our choice to plow through 3-4 servings verus eating 1 and asking them to pack the rest, right?
There seems to be a lot of information on clean eating, this might have to be a series. My general thoughts at this point are that clean eating seems to be physically healthy, but I question the effect on our emotions and our mental health. If you don't allow yourself some sort of treat every once in a while, then what fun is it? If you are being that controlling with what is and isn't allowed in your body, is it a borderline eating disorder? On the flip side though, if you're that attached to something that you would question your existence without it, then is it a deeper seeded addiction problem?
Food for thought...
Thursday, July 22, 2010
FAT! With a side of honesty...
Somebody called me fat!
Now before you get offended on my behalf, let's be realistic here. Yes, I do have an issue with my weight. Yes, I could stand to lose some poundage. But this is not what this post is about.
This post is about the great sadness I feel for the person who called me names because they are so obviously unhappy with their life and their own body image that they had to project their unhappiness on to me. I'm sure they were hoping for an angrier and meaner reaction than "Thanks J. :-)" And when that pissed them off more and they came at me again with similar language with some added colour I just said "Again, J, thank you! :-)" And when they fuelled it even more, I just kept it positive. I kept it light. I kept it honest. "You are just lashing out because I keep rejecting you. Its okay, you're human." Another barrage of insults flew at me. I responded with "I only speak the truth. You will learn in time. I would give you a chance if you weren't always asking for money, but material things are what motivate you, so that is the life you seek. Again, its fine, just not the life for me. I seek joy. I seek happiness." Finally there was no response.
Does it hurt to be called fat? Yes, it does a little bit. In the past I would have entered into this vicious circle of self-loathing, and seek comfort in food. I would inhale a whole bag of potato chips in one sitting, scarf down a pint of ice cream, and finish it with a couple chocolate bars. I would feel satisfied for a few minutes, and then the guilt would hit. I would hurl insults at myself in my head. "I can't believe you just at all that!! No wonder you can't keep a boyfriend. You are so lazy! You can't even keep your house in order. All you do is watch TV and then go to bed and then get up and repeat everything you did the day before. What a waste."
Yes, I said those things to myself. Those are the tame ones too. It has taken years of work to stop myself from doing it. Every once in a while, I get caught off guard and those words float back up to the top of my head, echoing loudly in my ear. But instead of listening to them, I let them float up, acknowledge they are there, and then I let them float away because they are not the truth.
I truly feel sad and hurt, but not for myself. I feel for the person who felt it necessary to impart such verbal violence on another person because of how much pain and unhappiness they themselves are dealing with inside. I am scared for that person, that they will never get the help they need and will just continue to isolate themselves. Sure, on the surface they are going to pretend like things are fine for years. Eventually the bottom will fall out for them, just as it did with me, and I only hope they have the same strength I did to dust themselves off, stand up and vow to make a change and to love themselves for the person they are.
I could have ignored the first text, true. But why would I deny myself the opportunity to help another person see what is going on inside them? The mirror was held up to me quite a few times. Finally one day I actually looked at the reflection staring back at me. I can only hope that others will look too if ever it is infront of them.
Now before you get offended on my behalf, let's be realistic here. Yes, I do have an issue with my weight. Yes, I could stand to lose some poundage. But this is not what this post is about.
This post is about the great sadness I feel for the person who called me names because they are so obviously unhappy with their life and their own body image that they had to project their unhappiness on to me. I'm sure they were hoping for an angrier and meaner reaction than "Thanks J. :-)" And when that pissed them off more and they came at me again with similar language with some added colour I just said "Again, J, thank you! :-)" And when they fuelled it even more, I just kept it positive. I kept it light. I kept it honest. "You are just lashing out because I keep rejecting you. Its okay, you're human." Another barrage of insults flew at me. I responded with "I only speak the truth. You will learn in time. I would give you a chance if you weren't always asking for money, but material things are what motivate you, so that is the life you seek. Again, its fine, just not the life for me. I seek joy. I seek happiness." Finally there was no response.
Does it hurt to be called fat? Yes, it does a little bit. In the past I would have entered into this vicious circle of self-loathing, and seek comfort in food. I would inhale a whole bag of potato chips in one sitting, scarf down a pint of ice cream, and finish it with a couple chocolate bars. I would feel satisfied for a few minutes, and then the guilt would hit. I would hurl insults at myself in my head. "I can't believe you just at all that!! No wonder you can't keep a boyfriend. You are so lazy! You can't even keep your house in order. All you do is watch TV and then go to bed and then get up and repeat everything you did the day before. What a waste."
Yes, I said those things to myself. Those are the tame ones too. It has taken years of work to stop myself from doing it. Every once in a while, I get caught off guard and those words float back up to the top of my head, echoing loudly in my ear. But instead of listening to them, I let them float up, acknowledge they are there, and then I let them float away because they are not the truth.
I truly feel sad and hurt, but not for myself. I feel for the person who felt it necessary to impart such verbal violence on another person because of how much pain and unhappiness they themselves are dealing with inside. I am scared for that person, that they will never get the help they need and will just continue to isolate themselves. Sure, on the surface they are going to pretend like things are fine for years. Eventually the bottom will fall out for them, just as it did with me, and I only hope they have the same strength I did to dust themselves off, stand up and vow to make a change and to love themselves for the person they are.
I could have ignored the first text, true. But why would I deny myself the opportunity to help another person see what is going on inside them? The mirror was held up to me quite a few times. Finally one day I actually looked at the reflection staring back at me. I can only hope that others will look too if ever it is infront of them.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Walking Challenge - Nope...not happening
It is just not happening. I do not have the desire to go for a walk on a daily basis. It is not my thing. It used to be back in the day when I didn't belong to a gym and it was my only form of exercise, but I am stressing myself out more than I need to about not going for walks, or mentally trying to plan my schedule to see if I'll have time. Nope. I'm done. I am not going to torture myself any longer. I haven't gotten any satisfaction out of these walks. I tried to convince myself there was some, but there wasn't.
I feel like a failure, and I shouldn't. This was assigned to me by someone else, and its their thing...not mine. I really tried to make it seem like something that I was going to enjoy and get something out of. I tried to treat it like it was my idea. I tried to make it one of my desires...and it just isn't.
So no more challenges for now. I am going to do things that I want to do in my own time. My life is to make myself happy, and I know I get unhappy when I start putting too much pressure on myself for the benefit of others.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Walking Challenge - Day 8, 9 and 10
Days 8 and 9 were extremely busy. Both days I wasn't home until the wee hours (not partying either day either...how fun is that. :P) which made it way too late to go for a walk. But I got back up on the horse today for day 10. Then I came home, deep conditioned my hair, and practiced for the show. Its getting closer!! Only 3 days away!!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Walking Challenge - Day 7
Today I went for a walk as soon as I got home from rehearsal. I was already dressed in my walking-type gear, so I just dropped my show stuff and walked right out the door before I could change my mind. I took a slightly different route, and found myself working on memorizing lyrics while I was walking after about 15 minutes...funny how that happens. What I have focussed on the most in the past couple weeks seems to pop up constantly!! M'eh, just gotta let my mind do what its going to do, right?
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Walking Challenge - Day 6
If I don't have music in my head via headphones, I find it is still there regardless. Maybe its the amount of music (new and old) I have been surrounded by in the last couple months, but there is always a song running through my head, be it for rehearsal, or just something that is stuck in my head and on my mind.
So for day 6, I just went down one side of Robson and back up. I like walking at this time of night. There are a lot less people to navigate around, but its still early enough that there are people around to make me feel safe in my surroundings.
Walking Challenge - Days 4 and 5
Well Day 4 was a bit difficult. I did some walking, yes, but it was with purpose, so I almost feel as though I didn't do what I should have done.
However that all got made up for on Saturday when I took a long walk around the west end in the evening. The weather was gorgeous! I went at dusk, when the sun was just below the horizon, and it was still mild out. Not too hot, not too cold - perfect weather to be walking in. I joined the crowds on Robson and headed down to the beach. That took me about 20 minutes, so I went down the seawall for a bit. Then I sat and contemplated and thought. It was nice...I really take living where I live for granted. Then I headed back up Denman and then straight up Robson.
I still need to do my walk for today, and it is looking a bit dull and gray...but I'll get it done. :-D
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Walking Challenge - Day 3
Today I took advantage of my lunch hour and used part of it do my walk. It was good, except that I was more tempted to also run errands at the same time. It must be my "need to be efficient" frame of mind I am usually in when I am at work. I did pick up a cleanse which I will start tomorrow.
It was good that I ended up doing the walk on my lunch though because late in the afternoon I received a phone call from my sister saying that an impromptu dinner had been organized for the family. It was lots of fun, the usual amount of laughter and chatter.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Walking Challenge - Day 2
Well, I cheated a bit with the challenge today. I had a friend with me for part of the way. But I still got outside. And there was no rain today! Yay!!
Its funny how much you hear when you don't have headphones on.
Its funny how much you hear when you don't have headphones on.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Walking Challenge - Day 1
Hmm...well, I walked for half an hour. And I did it without distraction. But I don't feel any different. And I even walked when it was raining!!! Yay me for that one, because honestly you would think I was the Wicked Witch of the West with the way I react to rain. I'm meeeellllttting, meeeeellltting, Oooh what a world!
I should also make a quick note here that this idea didn't come just from me. It was actually an assignment from someone I know, and I don't know if I see the point of it for real yet. I spend a whole lotta time in my head as it is...why should I just give myself more time in there? Maybe the answer will become apparent after I've done it for a little bit. Only time will tell. :-)
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Only a Day and a Half Left!
To those of you who are following my blog and also walking with me wherever you are, I am starting the 30 Day Walking Challenge in a day and a half! Are you ready? I think I am...
I've come to the conclusion that the only time of day for a large percentage of these walks is going to be first thing in the morning. I only hope and pray that the Universe is going to work with me and that I don't have to trudge my way through rain. I really can't afford to get sick at the moment...hmmm, I wonder if I should add a clause for rainy days? See, the point of this thing is so that I can focus and clear my mind, its really not about the physical exercise. So if it rains and is really gross first thing in the morning, I'll defer the walk to either my lunch hour or after work. If it is still rainy and gross by that time, then what can I do for half an hour to clear my mind? Maybe meditate? Yoga? I know enough sun-salutations and have taken enough classes to do a yoga routine for half an hour I think...
Suggestions? Thoughts?
I've come to the conclusion that the only time of day for a large percentage of these walks is going to be first thing in the morning. I only hope and pray that the Universe is going to work with me and that I don't have to trudge my way through rain. I really can't afford to get sick at the moment...hmmm, I wonder if I should add a clause for rainy days? See, the point of this thing is so that I can focus and clear my mind, its really not about the physical exercise. So if it rains and is really gross first thing in the morning, I'll defer the walk to either my lunch hour or after work. If it is still rainy and gross by that time, then what can I do for half an hour to clear my mind? Maybe meditate? Yoga? I know enough sun-salutations and have taken enough classes to do a yoga routine for half an hour I think...
Suggestions? Thoughts?
Thursday, May 20, 2010
30 Day Walking Challenge
Much like the 30 Day Fitness Challenge I did in September 2009, I am going to start a 30 Day Walking Challenge on June 1, 2010.
Goal: Walk 30 minutes every day for 30 days
Rules: No portable music, no walking buddies and no set agenda
Gear: Appropriate attire, house keys, water bottle and a quarter (nope...not bringing my blackberry with me either! Quel suprise!)
I will write about it as often as I feel necessary, perhaps extending a glimpse into what happens to hit my thought process that particular day. I hope to gain some insight and inspiration as well. And a little daily physical activity never hurt anyone!
For those of you new to my blog, I'm always looking for new and interesting challenges. Feel free to suggest some!
That is all. :-)
Hey, wait a minute...haven't I done this already??
From Wikipedia: "Coming of age is a young person's transition from childhood to adulthood. The age at which this transition takes place varies in society ... It can be a simple legal convention or can be part of a ritual, as practiced by many societies. ... Particularly in western societies, modern legal conventions which stipulate points in late adolescence or early adulthood (most commonly 17, 18 and 21, at which time adolescents are generally no longer considered minors and are granted the full rights of an adult) are the focus of the transition. ... The term coming of age is also used in reference to different media such as stories, songs, movies, etc. that have a young character or characters who, by the end of the story, have developed in some way, through the undertaking of responsibility, or by learning a lesson."
I am 29 years old (30 later this year), and I feel like I've been here before. But before I delve more into that, let me fill you in on what I've been up to since January 31, 2010 (my last blog post).
Near the beginning of February (the 14th to be exact), I embarked on a journey of exploration and music. I entered the realm of pushed boundaries, crushed egos and brutal honesty. I was a contestant in Numbers Idol 2010.
The competition started off fierce. Everyone brought what they thought was their A-game only to be told that they needed to bring it a little harder next time if they wanted to stay in this competition. No one was safe. Little by little we were pegged off like little plastic soldiers being flicked by a kid playing army in the backyard. Every week was a surprise as to who would be sent packing. And every week we all held our breath for a few seconds until it was over, and what expelled from our lips was either a curse word, a sigh of relief, or a quiet sob.
For me it was like a boot camp. I have been singing since I could make noise. I have never had formal training, I had only gleaned from spending time with other performers in musicals, choirs and shows. Numbers Idol pushed my limits, made me think outside the box and connect with my audience more. And every time I held that microphone in my hand, one thing went through my head:
"This is it. This is what I am meant to do. There is nothing else in this world that brings this amount of joy to me. There is nothing else in this world that terrifies me more than this. There is nothing else in this world that I want to commit myself to 100%. This moment. Right now. This is it."
And now I know what my Aunty Suzanne meant when she told me "Here's the deal. You're either married to a man or to music. Pick one and deal with it. Music is a very demanding lover. If you are blessed to find one good man who can compete with your love of music and he loves you truly, you'll be singing the rest of your life. Tra la la la." I have always known this was what I wanted to do - I want to be on stage performing. But Numbers Idol truly solidified that for me, in my head.
It was such a tremendous opportunity for each of us to be a part of, and I honestly think we learnt a lot from it.
Not to be outshone, but I also started a new job on March 1! I am working as a hybrid Legal Assistant/Paralegal at a private law firm in Vancouver. The work is awesome, the people are very collegial, its a small firm so it feels like a family...its awesome.
But back to the coming of age thing. Having learnt what I did in Numbers Idol, and having been given the opportunities these past few months, I honestly feel like I am coming of age all over again. I'm about to graduate from the 3 and half year part-time program I did at Capilano University. I am embarking on the next stage of my life...again. Is it accurate to think that coming of age can only happen when you grow out of chronological adolescence? Or are we adolescents all throughout our life in one way or another? I certainly hope its the latter because I do not ever want to stop learning.
Thats all for now. :-)
Testing, testing... 1 2 3.
*ahem* Is this thing on??
I shall provide more of a story in a bit. :-)
Sunday, January 31, 2010
My Reading List
I just finished reading the book "Animal Farm" by George Orwell. Boy, did this book piss me off!! I truly believe it is our duty and right as thinking and feeling human beings to question anything and everything that does not sit right with us. Blindly accepting something as truth is infuriating! The last paragraph of this book frightened me as well!
"Twelve voices were shouting in anger, and they were all alike. No question, now, what had happened to the faces of the pigs. The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again: but already it was impossible to say which was which." (George Orwell, 1903-1950)
No truer words have been uttered about what "humanity" has become, or at least what the people who run our countries have turned into. Is there hope for us? I certainly would like to think so.
Do I recommend this book for others to read? YES! Anything that would instigate and provoke the amount of thought that this book has in me is definitely worth it! Anything that can spark debate and discussion like this book has in me should be read! I've got a copy if anyone wants to borrow it, and its a short read too!
Now that I'm finished school I do have a lot more time on my hands. I've posted this to my facebook before, but I have a list going of books I am going to read. I won't necessarily write a review on all of them, just the books that really affect me.
The thing I most enjoy about books (and movies and songs, and all things of that nature - entertainment) is that they are meant to make you think and feel. It may be something as stupid as "Wow, I enjoyed that book. It was a nice escape and it was written well" to what I've written about "Animal Farm". I am also not going to go into much detail because I don't want to ruin it for anyone who hasn't read it. Plus I'm not a reviewer...I just spout my own thoughts.
My list to date (in no particular order) is:
The Alchemist (read it)
Animal Farm (read it)
The Davinci Code
Angels and Demons
The Shopaholic Series
A Thousand Splendid Suns
The Kite Runner (is sitting in front of me right now as I type this, waiting to be read)
Kindred
Book of Negros
My Sister's Keeper
The Road
Fool by Christopher Moore
A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore
Mothers and Daughters
Please let me know if you have anything to add to this list. I am up for anything! All genres!!
"Twelve voices were shouting in anger, and they were all alike. No question, now, what had happened to the faces of the pigs. The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again: but already it was impossible to say which was which." (George Orwell, 1903-1950)
No truer words have been uttered about what "humanity" has become, or at least what the people who run our countries have turned into. Is there hope for us? I certainly would like to think so.
Do I recommend this book for others to read? YES! Anything that would instigate and provoke the amount of thought that this book has in me is definitely worth it! Anything that can spark debate and discussion like this book has in me should be read! I've got a copy if anyone wants to borrow it, and its a short read too!
Now that I'm finished school I do have a lot more time on my hands. I've posted this to my facebook before, but I have a list going of books I am going to read. I won't necessarily write a review on all of them, just the books that really affect me.
The thing I most enjoy about books (and movies and songs, and all things of that nature - entertainment) is that they are meant to make you think and feel. It may be something as stupid as "Wow, I enjoyed that book. It was a nice escape and it was written well" to what I've written about "Animal Farm". I am also not going to go into much detail because I don't want to ruin it for anyone who hasn't read it. Plus I'm not a reviewer...I just spout my own thoughts.
My list to date (in no particular order) is:
The Davinci Code
Angels and Demons
The Shopaholic Series
A Thousand Splendid Suns
The Kite Runner (is sitting in front of me right now as I type this, waiting to be read)
Kindred
Book of Negros
My Sister's Keeper
The Road
Fool by Christopher Moore
A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore
Mothers and Daughters
Please let me know if you have anything to add to this list. I am up for anything! All genres!!
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Personal Legend
I recently read the book “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho. The book is about a young shepherd named Santiago whom we follow while he seeks his personal legend. From this book I gleaned 3 things:
1) We all have a personal legend that we can seek and fulfill – not everyone realizes theirs;
2) If you truly, and purely, want something, the universe will aide you in this in a positive way; and
3) Sometimes what you seek is in the most obvious and simple place, but it takes following what your heart desires to realize it.
I recommend it. I wish I knew Portuguese so I could read the original. The translation felt a bit stiff at times, but for the most part it was a good story. And as cheesy as the teachings are in this book, they definitely rang true for me. I too have goals that I have been seeking since I could talk. My determination and want of these things have never wavered. And I believe the universe has aided me in a positive way. Please understand that when I say “positive”, I certainly don’t mean it has just been handed to me. To be aided in a positive way means going through trials and tribulations – the universe is going to teach you what you need to know in order to successfully obtain what you want. Some things will come easier than others, depending on how quick you pick up on it. With other things it will feel as though you’re banging your head against a wall because you keep repeating the same mistakes over and over and over and over again, and that will keep happening as long as you’re not learning from those mistakes.
I also don’t believe to fulfill your personal legend is to achieve one thing. It’s a legend! It can have many twists, turns, pathways, beginnings and endings. It’s your story, and a story that is focussed on one thing is a bit boring, no? I certainly prefer stories with sub-plots, interesting characters and both sad and happy endings.
Have you thought about what your personal legend could be?
1) We all have a personal legend that we can seek and fulfill – not everyone realizes theirs;
2) If you truly, and purely, want something, the universe will aide you in this in a positive way; and
3) Sometimes what you seek is in the most obvious and simple place, but it takes following what your heart desires to realize it.
I recommend it. I wish I knew Portuguese so I could read the original. The translation felt a bit stiff at times, but for the most part it was a good story. And as cheesy as the teachings are in this book, they definitely rang true for me. I too have goals that I have been seeking since I could talk. My determination and want of these things have never wavered. And I believe the universe has aided me in a positive way. Please understand that when I say “positive”, I certainly don’t mean it has just been handed to me. To be aided in a positive way means going through trials and tribulations – the universe is going to teach you what you need to know in order to successfully obtain what you want. Some things will come easier than others, depending on how quick you pick up on it. With other things it will feel as though you’re banging your head against a wall because you keep repeating the same mistakes over and over and over and over again, and that will keep happening as long as you’re not learning from those mistakes.
I also don’t believe to fulfill your personal legend is to achieve one thing. It’s a legend! It can have many twists, turns, pathways, beginnings and endings. It’s your story, and a story that is focussed on one thing is a bit boring, no? I certainly prefer stories with sub-plots, interesting characters and both sad and happy endings.
Have you thought about what your personal legend could be?
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Thats it. I'm done!
I've learnt enough. Yes, yes, yes, sleep is important! I know this! My motivation to continue with this challenge is gone. I am tired of writing about my sleep habits, and I doubt that any of my readers are actually finding this interesting. I find it boring. Almost boring enough to help me sleep at night - how ironic. And I am tired of feeling limited in terms of whether to go out or not during the week.
During the short time that I have participated in this challenge, I have learnt that sleep is important, but this isn't something that is going to easily change for me. This challenge is creating more stress for me than I need...so I'm done.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Boy, I like that snooze button!
When I am a slave to an alarm clock, I press the snooze button way too many times. I don't think its very healthy, but I've become quite accustomed to pressing snooze every five minutes for about an hour before I finally realize I'm uber late and drag my butt out of bed. I've tried setting my alarm for 5 minutes before I want to actually get up so that I allow myself to get an extra hour or so of sleep, and it hasn't helped. However, the first week of this challenge was started with quite a bit of sleep deprivation. I'm going to continue to set my alarm for 6:55am and attempt to get up at 7.
I also didn't really follow the rules this weekend, but that was also partly experimental. I didn't set an alarm clock, and I didn't go to bed and get up at the same time each day. I wanted to see what my body was saying and let myself wake up naturally. On Friday night I went to bed before midnight, but I read for a bit in bed, so I didn't fall asleep until about 12:30. I woke up the first time at about 8ish, but fell back asleep quite quickly. I then awoke again around 10:30 or so, and actually felt rested. My first thought was "Oh great, my body needs 10 hours of sleep. Yay, no social life for me!" I went about my day as normally as I could (its rare that I get a day off with absolutely nothing planned - I usually fill my days off with other things I need to do that I don't have time to take care of during the rest of my time). I went out with friends and didn't drink. We had an early night (for us) and I got home at about 1:30am. I wasn't sleepy at all, so I just chilled in front of the TV for a bit and finally went to bed at 2:30am and fell asleep right away. I woke up around 8:30. I tried to go back to sleep and couldn't. I stayed in bed until about 9:30, hoping that I would just fall back asleep. Nope. So what, now my body really DOES only need 6 hours of sleep? WTF? And I feel very rested!
Well at least I get to start this next week without sleep deprivation and can hopefully get a better read out of my body. My schedule has changed a bit because I've given up volleyball until after the Olympics. I tried getting out to Britannia to play, and it worked out the first week, but the second week it sold out an hour before I got there. I don't live in the neighbourhood and thought it just wasn't worth my time to make the effort only to find out it sold out. If it were downtown, and I found out it had sold out, no big deal. But the fact that I have to take transit out there just makes me not want to make the effort. So I will wait for Coal Harbour to open again in March.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
THAT'S Why!!!!!!
Well I've figured out why I've been so tired the last couple days. No, I'm not pregnant. Just think for a minute...there ya go!
Last night was a bit better. I had a hot bath at 10:30 and I was in bed by 11. I still stayed up and read until about 11:30, and then I tossed and turned a bit before I actually fell asleep (too much on my mind, as per usual). I was going to try and wake up to be somewhere by 7, but that didn't happen. I was awake, but I kept hitting snooze until I finally dragged my butt out of bed at 7:07. Its an improvement though.
I also had a pretty busy day at work, and hit the gym with my trainer at 6, so I feel back on track.
Just a quickie today... :-)
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
This isn't working...
I need to be harder on myself and actually start listening to my own rules. Last night I ended up heading to bed at 1 am, and I stayed up reading for at least half an hour. Then I woke up at about 7, tried to stay awake and ended up sleeping in until 7:45.
At the end of the day, I get home, change into my workout clothes, take care of a couple things at home, and I'm exhausted. I fall asleep on the couch for half an hour and that's it. Now I'm groggy and not in the mood to do anything. I forced myself to stay awake though so I don't have a restless sleep later.
I'm giving it a week. And even though I have to be in bed at 12:45 this week according to my rules, I'm going to bed earlier than that tonight. I'm still deprived from the weekend.
My only struggle (and I think this may have always been a struggle for me) is that I am scared I am going to miss something after I go to sleep. I know, I'm crazy.
Sigh...
Day 1 / Night 1
Well, I didn't get up at 7. In fact, I slept in until 8, which is when I usually start work. Thankfully I have a bit of a "grace period" if you will where I work. As long as we do the amount of time, it doesn't really matter when we start. It would be one thing if I was half an hour late and left at my normal time. But if I'm half an hour late, I stay half an hour longer. Only makes sense.
Effect # 1 of this lack of sleep - rambling.
I didn't go to the gym like I was planning. I had a bit of a strange weekend, so I am going into this little experience even more sleep deprived than usual. I almost feel like I should have gone to bed about an hour ago, but as soon as I was thinking of turning in, my computer downloaded a virus. I got on the email right away and my brother helped me fix it, but I was panicking until about 20 minutes ago. Brothers who know stuff about computers ROCK!
I have about 24 minutes until I am supposed to turn in, so I will keep this one a bit short, and write more either tomorrow or in a couple days.
Happy Sleeping!! :)
Friday, January 15, 2010
Who Needs Sleep?
First off, I'd like to welcome any new readers to my blog! I've just learnt how to link blogger to facebook (thank you Darren!), so I know I will be reaching a bigger audience.
It is debated constantly, it has been written about in song and it is something that we, as a society, seem to lack - sleep. It is an apparently well known fact that an adult needs 7-8 hours of sleep per night. Right now I am lucky if I get 6 hours of sleep (and yes, even though my behaviour questions this at times, I am an adult). I can't help it though! If I try to go to bed before midnight, I toss and turn and end up with a worse sleep than if I just went to bed at 12:30 am or 1 am and fall asleep right away. When I wake up in the morning though, I just can't get myself out of bed and end up pressing the snooze button at least half a dozen times. By a domino effect, this causes me to leave my morning routine to the absolute last minute possible, causing me to rush, and then getting to work a little bit flustered (and sometimes a little bit late).
So what does this mean? Well, I gave myself a 30 day fitness challenge back in September (read all about it!!) so why not give myself a sleep challenge? That is just a further part to wellness, right?
This is what my schedule next week is currently (leaving out any last minute plans with friends of course):
Will there be challenges within the challenge? Yes...
During this 30 day challenge I am going to monitor my moods, the way I deal with stress, my overall wellness during the day and my ability to jump out of bed vs. dragging myself out of bed. What if I don't see any difference in the way I feel after the challenge? Well, then I'll do what I do now - sleep when I'm tired.
That's all for now! Happy sleeping!
PS - got any hints for sleep aids or other things I can challenge myself on? Leave a comment!!
It is debated constantly, it has been written about in song and it is something that we, as a society, seem to lack - sleep. It is an apparently well known fact that an adult needs 7-8 hours of sleep per night. Right now I am lucky if I get 6 hours of sleep (and yes, even though my behaviour questions this at times, I am an adult). I can't help it though! If I try to go to bed before midnight, I toss and turn and end up with a worse sleep than if I just went to bed at 12:30 am or 1 am and fall asleep right away. When I wake up in the morning though, I just can't get myself out of bed and end up pressing the snooze button at least half a dozen times. By a domino effect, this causes me to leave my morning routine to the absolute last minute possible, causing me to rush, and then getting to work a little bit flustered (and sometimes a little bit late).
So what does this mean? Well, I gave myself a 30 day fitness challenge back in September (read all about it!!) so why not give myself a sleep challenge? That is just a further part to wellness, right?
This is what my schedule next week is currently (leaving out any last minute plans with friends of course):
Monday, January 18, 2010
- 8 am - 4:30 pm - Work
- 5 pm - 6:30 pm - Gym
- 8 pm - 10 pm - Music
- 8 am - 4:30 pm - Work
- 7:45 pm - 10 pm - Volleyball
- 7 am - 7:30 am - Appointment
- 8 am - 4:30 pm - Work
- 6 pm - 7 pm - Personal Training
- 9 pm - 10 pm - Music
- 8 am - 4:30 pm - Work
- 7 pm - 10 pm - Volleyball
- 8 am - 4:30 pm - Work
- 7 pm - 9 pm - Band Practice
- No plans! I have the weekend off (miracle of miracles!) from my weekend job
- No plans!
Will there be challenges within the challenge? Yes...
- I am a social butterfly!! And to boot, I'm a night person! I like going out with friends and staying out until 2 or 3 am. Not every night, but at least 1 or 2 nights during the week!
- I love watching the news, and feel there is a more comprehensive look at the day's events if I watch the 11 o'clock news. I'm going to miss being an informed member of society.
- If I am in bed by 11, that doesn't mean I'm going to be asleep by 11, which is what is needed for a full 8 hours of sleep. So that means I have to put myself to bed by 10:30 at least so that I can read and try and put myself into a more relaxed state so I can fall asleep by 11.
- The last challenging thing about this is a major one because its one of those things that I have never had any sort of control over - creativity. When it hits, you have to listen to it or fear losing your idea and never getting it back. When does it hit for me? In the middle of the night usually. Picking up my nylon-string guitar (so I don't disrupt my neighbours) and plucking out a haunting chord progression (think of the chord progression one might use for Canon or Everybody Hurts or something with a lot of minor chords) can relax me when I am restless, and be the key to a new song that I start. This even happened to me last week and I know the creative juices are a LOT more present these days with no more school.
During this 30 day challenge I am going to monitor my moods, the way I deal with stress, my overall wellness during the day and my ability to jump out of bed vs. dragging myself out of bed. What if I don't see any difference in the way I feel after the challenge? Well, then I'll do what I do now - sleep when I'm tired.
That's all for now! Happy sleeping!
PS - got any hints for sleep aids or other things I can challenge myself on? Leave a comment!!
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