Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Soooo...a bird flew into my apartment.

So yesterday after work, I decided I just wanted a chill night after such a busy weekend with friends from out of town being here. I told my bf to vamoose and that I would see him today, and he did. So I'm chillin', watching Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny (I PVRed it a couple weeks ago), I have my patio door open (no screens because a former tenant took them at some point before I moved in), and suddenly this bird kamikazes into my apartment, straight into the wall in my kitchen. Thud. No movement.

I'm sitting there in utter shock and disbelief. I know exactly where it has landed on my pantry/shelf. I call Russel (the boyfriend) and tell him there is a bird in my apartment. He doesn't understand what I'm saying at first, and then I say it again. There. Is. A. Bird. In. My. Apartment. He says he'll be right there. Ten minutes later, the bird comes too, and there is some flapping and then stillness and still no Russel, so I call my parents.

First my mom can't stop laughing as I am in hysterics about this bird. My sister is in the background saying "Charge it rent, that'll get him out", and my dad is trying to tell me how to deal with it. So my dad gets on the phone and tells me to put on sunglasses and a hat so that it can't peck my eyes out and won't get tangled in my hair. I'm telling him there is no way I am going near that thing because I am absolutely certain it will attack me. Finally, another 15 minutes passes and Russel gets there - turns out he had been long-boarding in Stanley Park and he got there as fast as he could. He's giggling a bit as he sees me waiting in my hallway. So I let him in, and tell him where the bird is. Then I stand in my hallway and watch as he turns on all the lights and he sees a little finch sitting there, among my canned goods. He slowly reaches for it, and it goes beserk, sending it up towards the ceiling in my direction. So I run into the bathroom shrieking and close the door. As I'm in there, I hear rustling and my venetian blinds moving and then I hear water running, so I go out. Russel has the bird in his hand (he wrapped a plastic bag around his hand first), and he's letting it drink water. Then he took it out the balcony and set it free.And that was my supposed-to-be-uneventful Tuesday night.